He loves someone else and a future together is something that could never be achieved no matter how much effort is put forth. I fully grasp the reasoning to which I cannot have the man I want and I understand that he wishes to have someone else for his wife but I keep finding myself unable to let go, despite knowing full well that I need to lock his memory away for my sanity. I find myself refusing any advances of romance or love. Despising them, even. I have noticed myself becoming hateful and bitter. I hate that I was not good enough to deserve his love and have found myself sitting and wondering what was wrong with me. He has turned me into a person that I am not and I can slowly feel more and more of myself slipping away. Still, I pathetically dream of him and the life I so desperately wish to live with him and only him. I think of a life full of unconditional love and happiness. I wish to come home to a house full of our memories together, the hardships we overcame to be. I am happily married with no kids. I am aged 35. My husband works for a sales company. Ours was a love marriage(husband is a college senior), nine years and running.I have a Master’s in English and am a professor. After Covid, I changed jobs from being a professor at Koramangala to a college at Yelahanka for better pay. It is the main reason behind Madhan entering my life.I was introduced to all the faculties on the first day of the new college. After introductions, I noticed that I was the youngest faculty of that college. For the first time, I watched Madhan from the college balcony while he was playing intense football and sprinting with the ball.On the second day of college, I witnessed Madhan being one of my class students. Madhan was a well-built, tall, and handsome guy. He sat one row behind the last bench and was very magnetic to me.A back story: We wanted to enjoy life in the early days of our marriage. So we delayed kids with protective sex for around three years. After.
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